we have officially lost it.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
