Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
