the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
