That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
