Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Randomize
