yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
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