Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
