i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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