Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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