Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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