Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
