okay pat passed out under dana's car
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
