I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
