I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
