TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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