He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
