I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
