The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Randomize
