Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
i believe in u and ur pee
Randomize
