Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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