I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
