he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize