5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
