it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Randomize
