And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
