Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize