I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
