Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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