Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
