You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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