im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I want a musical about memes.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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