babies were throwing up all over the place
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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