I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
