Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
you made out with another girl for some wings
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize