This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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