i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
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