Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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