umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
