I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
