I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
