I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
