Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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