I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i will never coherently bang her
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
