I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
