I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
