im gay
i know
yea but for you.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
