So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
