i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
