Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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