I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
its not stalking. its research.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
