sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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