brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
