Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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