sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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