we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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