I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
