Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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