I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
