He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Randomize
