Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
