The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
