you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
