you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
we're making bets on your personal life
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
