I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
