Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
