is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I just want to make out with him forever
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
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