so let's talk penis.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
