I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
