i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Sorry my hands just texted you
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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