I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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