i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
She has the best kind of daddy issues
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
